Well, we are back in O-Town. You see, I had to take a trip to Kansas City, MO last week and I decided to take my wife with me. She really needed a vacation! So we dropped off the teen at my mom’s house and secured a pet sitter to handle the birds and cat…and off we went!
Upon arriving at KCI airport in KCMO, we were immediately astonished at the heat. Was it possible that there was another place on Earth as hot and miserable as Orlando, FL? Yes! KMCO was a sultry 100F when we landed…with 100% humidity. But…even with the heat and having to work at Fort Leavenworth, it was good to get away from dingy graffiti-infested Orlando for a while.
My wife almost immediately took note of the demeanor of the Kansas Citians. Most were laid back, not in a rush to get somewhere and generally a step more polite than the viral human scum currently inhabiting greater Orlando. There were no modified Hondas sitting 1 inch off the road with stereos blaring, no sound of racing lawnmower engines as the greasy teens race each other illegally on the streets…no trash on the sides of the roadways…no horns blowing…no one cutting me off in traffic. That’s just the way it is in the midwest…
Coming back to Orlando was difficult. We actually did have a good time in KCMO and even KCK. The trees were vibrant and green, the roads were not overcrowded, the houses were well kept, there were flowers…etc. As soon as I arrived in Orlando and exited my flight, there was a nasty fat couple cursing each other out domestic-violence style at the gate. I got pushed and nearly shoved into the floor by a fat black women who HAD to get onto the monorail train before I did. And we felt as though we were being followed into the parking garage by some grimy men intent on mugging us.
Then there was leaving the airport. My buddy often picks me up or takes me to the airport to avoid the $102 parking fee…and he almost always flies into some sort of rage at the pitiful drivers around OIA. People were in a hurry to pass me…and to get nowhere. I was honked at, nearly sideswiped and generally loathed as I drive down 528 to 417. What a difference! Trash everywhere, homeless people everywhere…graffiti on every available flat surface…gestapo-style cameras on every traffic light…this place really is that bad. Too bad I can’t find good work in KCMO.