Forget Maslow…Enter “Graham’s Maternal Hierarchy of Needs”


We all (hopefully) know Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.  If not, it goes something like this…taken from Wikipedia.


The lowest level is associated with physiological needs, while the uppermost level is associated with self-actualization needs.  Deficiency needs must be met first. Once these are met, seeking to satisfy growth needs drives personal growth. The higher needs in this hierarchy only come into focus when the lower needs in the pyramid are met. Once an individual has moved upwards to the next level, needs in the lower level will no longer be prioritized. If a lower set of needs is no longer being met, the individual will temporarily re-prioritize those needs by focusing attention on the unfulfilled needs, but will not permanently regress to the lower level.

More basic needs are at the bottom…as these needs are met, you move up the pyramid to meet the next layer of needs. The lower four layers of the pyramid are what Maslow called “deficiency needs, and if they are not met, you will be messed up in various ways.  Get it?  Got it?  Good.

Now file that away in the back of your mind and consider the new kid on the block…Graham’s Maternal Heirarchy of Needs.  I made that one up, but it is actually based on years of observations of my own family space, and the comments, observations and experiences of my friends.


Maternal Heirarchy of Needs


So here is the, as a child, are expected to meet the criteria on this Maternal Hierarchy of Needs…and it needs to be done in order.  Should you meet all of these criteria in the order they are presented, from the bottom of the pyramid to the top, you will receive maximum love from your maternal unit.   Should you go out of order in any way, such as getting married before you get a house, this leads to problems that the maternal unit cannot handle.  You have upset the natural progression of the flow of control.  And control is what this whole pyramid represents.

Think of it this way…you need a Real Job first, and you can’t get that without the basic level of need…Credentials.  Once you have a Real Job (see my other blog on what that means) then you need to use your Real Money to get a House.  An apartment or rental will not do.  No, you need to be a mortgage holder for a house that is just beyond what you can afford.  Got that House?  Well then you need a woman’s touch to decorate it?  A Man cannot have a happy house without a Woman!   Remember Adam and Eve?  Adam was a God-respecting man until Eve came along, took control of that Garden and had him pick that fruit…you see, he kneeeeewwwwww that humanity was doomed, so he might as well go ahead and get that fruit!  After Marriage…comes the Baby Carriage.  But back up…the maternal unit must agree with the choice of mate…only then can the fruits of marriage form into an acceptable grandchild unit.  Got a Real Job, House, Wife and Kids?  Then it is about time for Mama to get old…and time for you to clear out that extra bedroom and move her in!  It all connects together…why the heck do you think Get a House is so far down on the pyramid?

So what do you think?


One response »

  1. Funny…

    Not! I could just as well as provide you with the “Garbay Clan Hierarchy of Validity”…

    It starts early in life… and progresses with age… Here it is in a nutshell.

    1) Get Good Grades in school
    2) Get Good Grades while in school with a girl/boy friend [Heterosexual only]
    3) Graduate from highschool with a girl/boy friend [Heterosexual only]
    4) Attend College, getting good grades, and have a girl/boy friend [Heterosexual only]
    5) Graduate from College with a girl/boy friend [Heterosexual only]
    6) Attend College for a Master’s Degree , getting good grades, and have a girl/boy friend [Heterosexual only]
    7) Obtain a high paying job and have a girl/boy friend [Heterosexual only]
    8) Rocket up the career path and have a wife/husband [Heterosexual only]
    9) Rocket further up the career path, remain married [Heterosexual only], and buy a house
    10) Rocket further up the career path, remain married [Heterosexual only], remain in your house, and have many children
    11) Rocket further up the career path, remain married [Heterosexual only], remain in your house, and have your many children start out and successfully follow the “Garbay Clan Hierarchy of Validity” for themselves

    Like your hiearchy… this path progression needs to be sequential with penalties for straying from the validity doctrine. If any of these steps are taken out of order, while you may have other aspects of the higher levels complete… but in all family dealings… you will remain at your last fully completed validity level. Ostracism and chastisement are considered valid tools to employ to ensure conformity.

    So you see my friend… we all live in our own “hells”… if not self made, then ready-made by our families.

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