Top Ten Things I Hate About Air Travel

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I travel fairly frequently, mostly within the continental US.  Here is a listing of 10 things that really get my goat about air travel:

  1. Unruly children.  We have all seen them.  Kids running amok in the airport, disturbing other passengers, screaming, hollering and otherwise acting out of control.  On my last trip, I watched in horror as one 8 year old child kept slamming the airport terminal window with an umbrella.  His mother then gave him a 64 ounce gutbuster coke which he consumed over the next 20 minutes.  By the time we were ready to depart, the kid was uncontrollable and the mother was demanding the flight crew to set aside federal law so he could go to the restroom on takeoff.
  2. Drunks.  The airport is no place to get wasted.  However, that doesn’t stop the fat bellied rednecks that like to saturate themselves internally and externally with alcohol prior to flying.  Then they act like imbiciles on the plane.
  3. Drinking a 64 ounce gutbuster soda prior to flying.  I touched on it in item #1.  What is the point of drinking all that sugar and carbonated water, then getting in a tizzy when the single working lavatory is in use, or the fasten seatbelts sign is lit?
  4. Reclining your seat.  Let’s face it.  On flights such as Southwest, if you recline your seat, you mess up the poor SOB behind you who then has a seat in their face and no room to maneuver.  Consideration is obviously a thing of the past for these mindless slugs.
  5. Last minute people.  I get to the airport at least 1 hour early, if not more.  Why hold everyone up while you make a mad last second dash to the gate?
  6. Carry on bag size.  I saw a woman bring on a 26″ upright which was overpacked.  She tried to stuff it in the overhead, partially crushing my bag in the process.  The flight attendant actually took her side, and proceeded to partially crush my stuff.  Check your bags you sorry, lazy dopes!
  7. That annoying person who talks too loud or too much.  On a 9:20PM flight home, I don’t want to hear some stupid dork taking at the top of their lungs for 4+ hours, nor do I want to hear them laughing with an annoying laugh for hours on end.  Consideration.  What the hell happened to it?
  8. Lack of Info.  Some pilots provide useful information.  Some simply say “Welcome to XYZ”.  I prefer some information along the way, such as “we now have 850 miles to go…”
  9. Guilty until proven innocent.  I recently forgot I had a water bottle in my carry-on bag.  You would think the world had ended…the amount of grief they gave me. 
  10. Shrinking cabin sizes.  I am getting bigger, yes.  But the seats, leg room and overhead bin space is shrinking too. 
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2 responses »

  1. #11 you forgot is the 19 year old kid sitting next to you and shaking with the chills and fevah of his lifestyle. If you’re that sick…wear a sweatshirt and for gods sake stop breathing on me. You are the mutha sick! Face the wall…I can smell your Halls breath…why the hell are you on this plane…I dont want your illness and ruin the next 10 days of my life…you are the mutha sick? Thank you.

  2. ugh… I hate air travel. Hate air travel to Europe the most. I woke up one night…. at 35,000 feet over the Atlantic Ocean… only to feel claustrophobic. I wanted to break the Heck out like I had the chicken pox…. but I did not. I was there…trying to remain calm… and a woman from FIRST CLASS… let her 4 year old brat-boy …. run up and down the COACH Cabin… I asked the stewardess to do something…. and she just gave me an exasperated sigh. Oh, by the way, the kid put his arm out… as he went by… like a kid would do with a stick and a picket fence. I hate air travel too.

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